hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
