i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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