At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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