McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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