Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
