I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
