ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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