Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
