Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
