I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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