I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We are two peas in an std pod
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
