It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize