If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
