if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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