Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The Olympian is in my bed
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
