I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
