YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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