Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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