fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
