Non-Jews are for practice
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
