You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
