Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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