he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
