My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
