I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
