drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize