HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize