I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
