Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
