I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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