Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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