dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
