Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
