its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
