Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
