I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
