someone threw a dead crab at me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
