I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
a search helicopter?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
