Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
