Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize