he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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