i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
