i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
