Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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