is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
