i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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