I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
