Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
