The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
