I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
