he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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