I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
