yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize