i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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