That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
