are you still at the devil's house?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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