That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
