i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
